church & west wing

 I am a re-reader. I love reading my favorite books.

• Harry Potter
• Lord of the Rings
• Godfather
• Princess Bride

I’m also a re-watcher

• All of the above
• XMen
• Avengers
• West Wing

Don’t laugh, but I also tell kids it’s ok to rework math problems multiple times. 

There is comfort in the re-doing, re-reading, re-acknowledging. 

I’m rewatching West Wing right now. I like Martin Sheen as President Bartlett in the same way I like Bernard Hill as Theoden. Rob Lowe. Ainsley Hayes. Why do I remember some as their fictional characters and others as their real selves? 

I like what they stand for. I like that they can be pious and pompous and then re-evaluate to be better. 

It’s Sunday.

I’m trying to figure out why I’ve been crying most of the day. I went to church this morning. In the rain. It started then. 

Was it because a young man who has been kind to me was ordained today? 

Was it tradition?

Was it the amazing songs?

Was it families together?

Was it our sweet pastor who can hit a reality nail right on its head?

I don’t know. I can normally rein this back in. Not today. 

I’m watching the West Wing episode where Simon Donovan is killed. It’s fiction. I know it’s fiction. But still . . .

I read a mystery and a child is killed. I might cry.

I watch a movie. Will I cry? 

I fix a dinner. I order groceries. I plan my week. I don’t know, but I might cry some more. 

 

It’s raining. I have a migraine. My mouth hurts. I’m not sleeping every night. Of course they’re related. But still . . .

There’s just not been enough time yet to strike a balance against 41+ years as a team, partners, best friends. 

I’m fine. Really I am. Except for those few moments when I’m not.