My name

March 20, 2024

My name

You would think that changing your name on everything would be easy. When Al and I signed our marriage certificate, the county clerk told me that whatever name I signed would be my legal name.

Bitsy Snyder. How hard can this be?

Well, it turns out our advice was not quite true.

Colorado DL requires a middle name and there was some debate on whether or not that could be Griffin.

Passport re-inserted my maiden name and left off the Griffin.

My oh my. Now my DL and Passport don’t match. There is not a big enough eye roll emoji to insert here.

There are also the seemingly endless things that require a name change, and of course, proof for said name change.

Airlines
TSA PreCheck
Clear
Bank Accounts
Social media (some are easier than others)

Want a new email account? It turns out that someone already has bitsysnyder@gmail.com.

Really.

Factor in that names are awfully personal. I am usually assured when in the doctor’s office that if they call out “Bitsy,” I’m the one they want, and it’s made me frequently wonder how people with more common names feel about theirs.

Sitting here with a new name for the first time in 40+ years, I’m contemplating yet again, how attached I am to my name. It is an identifier like no other. If I changed my name to Nancy, Joan, or Little Miss Muffet, would people ever figure out who I was?

There have been times that I’ve had to defend that my name is really Bitsy. You wouldn’t believe the times I’ve been asked for my legal name, given it, only to be told “Not your nickname.”

Does that play into my current thinking?

Is my attachment irrational?

I’ve come to realize a few things in this journey. The loss of control has sometimes been mildly irritating. At others ridiculously frustrating. But that’s what it is. It’s more about a loss of control than my actual name. The difficulty surrounding keeping control. The endlessness of reaching the end game of having my name the same on all my important documents.

I’ve had to do a reality check more than once. I hear the voice of my loved ones and it doesn’t matter what they call me. I know them. I know them all. They can call me Mom, Friend, Honey, Love. Doesn’t matter. It’s always me.

I know who I am without a particular name.

And I remember. Without a doubt.

God knows me regardless of what I’m called here on earth.

Isaiah 43:1 lets us know how special our names are. “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”

Even with that verse, I don’t know for sure that God says “Bitsy Griffin Snyder” when He speaks to me. Do I have a nickname? Just Bitsy? Some other combination?

What I do know.

Just like with my loved ones.

I recognize God’s voice whenever I hear Him. I know without a doubt He’s speaking directly to me no matter what term of endearment He uses: