Being online

Online friends

In a long ago year far far away, I met a group of teachers online in a forum called Teacher’s Net. I’ve met several in person. Some have become very very close friends. Some walked me through difficult career decisions. Some inspired me. Other’s challenged me with the work they did. 

About the same time, I was involved in another forum called the Baptist Board. I also became very good friends with some of these guys and gals. While my teacher friends were all from the US and Canada, my Baptist friends were from all over the world. And these led to friendships in the greater blogging community of faith related writers. 

We’ve talked on the phone, we’ve exchanged gifts, we’ve watched each others’ lives unfold through new life, heartache, illnesses, joy, and even death. 

Part of this getting-to-know folks happened at a greater level with Facebook which provided a venue for things we might not have blogged about. Snippets. Pictures. Underdeveloped ideas. Stray thoughts. 

Facebook. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship here. There are so many people you can trust, but there are enough to be wary of, that it makes you second guess your own judgement at times. I had such good prior experience though that I know at least interacting with good people online is possible. 

All this leads up to now. 

Online support

Ron dies, and multiple people suggest grief counseling. 

I just can’t do it. 

I’ve put myself out there emotionally writing this blog. I’ve drained all my daily energy just going to work and functioning. 

I cannot walk into a room with other grieving people. I can’t. 

But I can go into a Facebook group. I can read other people’s stories and cry or sympathize or walk away. I can come back at my convenience until I’m strong enough to participate. 

And then, I could tell my story. After a while, I could respond to others. It could all happen at a pace I was comfortable with. I could move from the one encouraged to the encourager. 

I’m noticing something. I’m slipping from present to past in this retelling. That’s a crazy thing grief does to a person. Understanding the history of an event. Reliving it as if it were in the present. 

There are hundreds of these Facebook groups. I searched for grief and loss and read the descriptions. After I found one, Facebook graciously recommend more. Two was sufficient for me. They helped me to know my feelings were not abnormal. They helped me to see how others were coping. They helped to bring the many blessings I had to light despite settling into the grief pit. 

They helped me make decisions. They helped me know that I didn’t want to stay where I was. They helped me understand that I didn’t want to take up residence in grief.